Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence occurs when one individual purposely causes physical or mental harm to another. Violence affects people of all ages, gender, race, cultural, and economic backgrounds. Acts of violence have terrible and costly results for all involved. The violence can and usually does take many different forms including domestic (intimate partner) violence, sexual assault and abuse, dating violence, child abuse and elder abuse. It may consist of verbal threats and harassment (psychological and/or emotional abuse) to hitting, slapping, kicking, sexual force, stabbing, and shooting (physical abuse.) It often ends in death or permanent physical injury. Although it is occasionally perpetrated by women and can also occur among same-sex couples, in nearly 9 of 10 reported cases of serious domestic violence it involves a man harming a woman. It is most common among women 15 to 54 years of age. Each year approximately 1 million women suffer some form of nonfatal violence by an intimate. 4 million American women experience a serious assault by an intimate partner during an average 12 month period. Nearly 1 in 3 adult women experience at least one physical assault by a partner during her adulthood.
Signs of an unhealthy and/or violent relationship
- Monitors what you are doing all the time
- Humiliates you in front of others
- Criticizes you for little things
- Holds rigid expectations of male/female roles
- Destroys your property or things that you care about
- Gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs
- Controls how you spend your money
- Controls your use of needed medicines
- Expects you to meet his or her emotional needs
- Blames others and you for his or her problems
- Threatens to hurt you, the children, or pets
- Uses or threatens to use a weapon against you
- Forces you to have sex against your will
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- Are you frightened of your partner's temper?
- Do you have the urge to rescue your partner when he or she is in trouble?
- Do you consent easily to your partner to avoid angering him or her?
- Do you drink or use drugs to dull the pain or join your partner so he or she won't get mad?
- Does your partner prevent or discourage you from seeing friends or family, or going to work or school?
- Are you often compliant because you are afraid to hurt your partner's feelings or are afraid of making him or her angry?
- Do you make decisions about activities and friends according to what your partner wants or how your partner will react?
- Do you find yourself apologizing to others about your partner's behavior when you are treated badly?
- Have you been hit, kicked, shoved, or had things thrown at you by your partner when he or she was jealous or angry?
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Tips on safety, reporting and ways to seek help
- Call the police or leave if you or your children are in danger. Call a crisis hot-line or the National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-SAFE or TDD 800-787-3224 which is available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year in English, Spanish, and other languages. The helpline can give you the phone numbers of local hotlines and other resources.
- Remember that you are not alone; many people are victims of domestic abuse.
- Don't ignore it because it won't go away. Learn how to lower your risk of being a victim before you find yourself in an uncomfortable or threatening situation.
- Don't keep it to yourself. Get help. Talk with a family member, friend, colleague, or faith counselor.
- If you've been hurt, get medical attention and call the police. Abuse is a crime and you have rights.
- Find out about shelters. A crisis hotline or the police can help you find one.
- Make plans for what you will do if you are attacked again.
- Set aside some money and choose a place to go. If you decide to leave, you'll be prepared. Put important papers (e.g. marriage license, birth certificate, checkbook) and items in a place where you can get them quickly.
- Contact your family court (or domestic violence court - if offered by your state) for information about getting a civil protection order.
Resources
Helpful Publications
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